Ephesians 5:21-33
v. 21 - “Subjecting yourselves one to another in the fear of
Christ”
The original Greek says “Christ” instead of “God” as
translated in the
King James Version. Below is a copy with the
original highlighted in
yellow”
This is the last of the
participial exhortations depending on the general
exhortation of ver. 15 to walk strictly, Most commentators connect it with
the three
immediately preceding participles (speaking, singing, giving
thanks), but are unable
to find a link of connection. Better connect with
ver. 15. Mutual
subjection is part of a wise, circumspect walk, i.e. mutual
recognition of each other’s
rights and of our obligations to serve them. In
some sense we are all
servants, i.e. we are bound to serve others; the very
father is, in this
sense, servant of his child. So in the Christian Church we
are all in a sense
servants (“By love serve one another,”Galatians 5:15;
compare Matthew
20:26-28; John 13:15, 16). This view is in harmony
with the humble spirit
of the gospel. Pride leads us to demand rigorously
from others what we
fancy they owe to us; humility, leads us to give to
others what Christ
teaches that we owe to them. The one feeling is to be
discouraged, the other
exercised and strengthened. In the verses following we
have this precept
split up into its constituent filaments. The reading of R.V., “
in the fear of
Christ,” has more authority than A.V., (see photo above of the
original Greek) “in the fear of God.” It brings to our mind the wonderful
example of Christ in this clement of character (compare Luke 2:51; Hebrews
5:8).
Reverential
regard for him should inspire us with the same spirit (Philippians
2:5-8).
vs. 22-33 – DUTIES OF WIVES AND HUSBANDS
The Apostle Peter, in his First Epistle, after dwelling on
the privileges of
believers, strongly urges them to have their conversation honest or
fair
among the Gentiles, exemplifying, by the purity and beauty of
their life, the
excellence of the principles and privileges of the gospel; and then
he
branches out into three cases or relations that afford scope for
this mode of
life — that of subjects to their rulers,
that of servants to their masters, and
that of wives to their husbands and husbands to their wives. Though Peter
and Paul moved in different orbits, yet, from the strength of the convictions
held by them in common, and the guidance of the Holy Spirit in them both,
they were led to enforce wonderfully similar applications of the great
principles of the gospel. Paul, like Peter, brings forward three relations, the
only difference being that, in place of the relation of subjects to their rulers,
he has that of children to their parents, and the corresponding duty of
parents to their children. We
have the clearest proof of its being the
purpose of Christianity to purify and elevate the common relations of life.
(As Spurgeon said – “the sole purpose of Christianity is to sanctify the secular”- CY)
Much of the visible fruit of true religion lies in its
making better subjects,
better spouses, better children, better servants. Pagans were struck with the
excellence of Christian women. The mother of Chrysostom won golden
opinions by remaining a widow from her twenty-first year. “What women
these Christians have!” was the exclamation of some. Christian women
were wonderful missionaries in the early centuries by their devout, pure,
and earnest lives; many was the pagan who, “without the Word, was won
by the conversation of the wife.” Such lives are doubly blessed — blessed
in themselves, and blessed in their influence on the world.
v.22 – “Wives,
submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord”
Though
Christianity emancipates and elevates woman, it does not release her
from the duty of
subjection (1 Peter 3:1-6). The “as to”
denotes a parallel duty:
as it is your duty
to be subject to Christ, so also to your husbands (see next verse).
v. 23 – For the
husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the Head of the
church”
The woman was
made for the man (Genesis 2:18; 1 Timothy 2:13), showing the
Divine purpose
that the man should be the head and center of the household,
and that the
position of the wife, as wife, should be one of subordination.
Parallel to this
arrangement is the relation of Christ to the Church. The
Christian house-hold,
on a much lower level, should exemplify the same relation!
“and He is the Savior of the body” - This is not said by way of
contrast, but still by way of parallel. The very saviorship of Christ should
find an analogy in the Christian husband. The husband should be the ever vigilant
and self-denying protector, guardian, deliverer, of his family,
though his saving power can never come near the high level
of Christ’s A
husband reckless of these obligations virtually ceases to have
any claim on
the subjection of the wife and the family. The very comparison of the
husband to the Savior implies that, while there is a certain analogy, there is
a still greater contrast. This is implied in the first word of the following
verse. Between the lines we read this thought: “Not that the parallel
between Christ’s saving function and the husband’s extends to the highest
things.”
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I have long said that my wife does a much better job of representing
the church
than I do Christ – (it is
no excuse that I have a much greater Role Model than
she, and have higher
standards to live up to, because I could, with God’s help
do much better )
A verse of warning
to women’s libbers –
“For this cause ought the woman to
have power on her head because of the angels” – I Corinthians 11:10 – What
does this verse
mean? Does this have reference to woman
trying to become
a man using the example of the fallen angels who
tried to overthrow God
but were cast out
of heaven? I am not trying to tell you what to believe
BUT YOU HAD BETTER MAKE SURE OF THIS!
v. 24 – “as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to
their
own
husbands in every thing”
Let there be a subjection in the one case
parallel to that in the other, for such is
the Divine will and purpose. Any subjection due to the husband must be modified
by what is due to
God, for as the husband may not require for himself, so the wife
may not give to him,
what is God’s: GOD’S WILL IS
Of the three wills that may be in
collision, viz. God’s, the husband’s, and the wife’s
— the duty of the
wife is to take them in this order, having regard first to God’s,
next to her husband’s, and last to her own.
The wife’s duty
is submission to the husband in the Lord – v. 22
vs. 22-24 - The
Duties of Wives.
In enforcing relative duties the apostle reminds us that
religion takes hold
of
all possible conditions and callings of men. Religion is the great
formative grace for men. We are set in a curiously various scheme of
relations, in which the two principles of union and subjection are
beautifully blended. The three relations in which these principles are
seen in
operation are peculiar to family life. The wife is first mentioned,
then the
children, then the servants. Religion rounds out the life of the
family in a
lovely completeness. Consider:
I. THE DUTIES OF WIVES. They are all summed up in the one word —
subjection. It is singular that the apostle does not command the wife
to
love her husband as the husband is commanded to love his wife. Her love is
commanded elsewhere (Titus 2:4), but not here. It has been observed
that what is instinctive is not enforced, but only what is necessary to
hallow
and
direct our instincts. The husband is to be the
head; yet he is not
commanded to govern; but he is commanded to love, as the means of
securing subjection or submission on the part of the wife. She,
again, loves
more naturally and more passionately than man; her love is no subject of
command, it is taken for granted; and
the apostle commands her to obey
and
honor her husband as the best expression of this love. Jeremy Taylor
says, “He rules her by authority, she rules him by love; she ought by all
means to please him, and he must by no means displease her.” Her
great
duty, then, is subjection. Let us see what it involves.
A
. It is not servitude.
It is not like the obedience of servants to masters, nor
even like that of children to parents. It is a submission that recognizes
the
husband’s rule as just, tender, and wise.
B. It is a wise
and loving obedience. Wives are “to be
obedient to their
own
husbands” (Titus 2:5). Sarah is quoted by another apostle as an
example of this obedience (1 Peter 3:1-6). It was necessary to
emphasize this duty at a time when Christianity gave woman a new
position of dignity and privilege, and when there might have been a
temptation on the part of Christian wives who had unbelieving
husbands to
assert an authority over them inconsistent with the original
institution of
marriage. There is to be no dual authority in the family. The
gospel made
them both “heirs together of the grace of life,” as it made “both male and
female one in Christ,” yet, even in religious or ecclesiastical
matters, she
was
not to usurp authority over the man, but “to be in silence” (1 Timothy 2:12).
C. It is an
obedience within limits, though the
wives are enjoined to be
subject to their husbands “in everything,” that is, in everything
within the
due
sphere of a husband’s authority, for they are not to obey him in
anything contrary to God and his Law. They are to obey God rather
than
man.
D. It is an
obedience fashioned in its conditions and spirit upon the
subjection of the Church
to Christ. “As the Church is subject unto Christ,
so
let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.” This implies that
the
wife’s obedience is not to be forced or feigned, but springing naturally
out
of her affection to her husband, her
dependence upon him, and her
recognition of the just grounds of his superiority.
E. It implies fear, or reverence.
“Let the wife see that she reverence her
husband” (ver. 33), not despising him in
her heart, as Michal despised
David (2 Samuel 6:16), but, like Sarah, calling her husband
“lord”
(1 Peter 3:6). The chaste conversation of the wife is to be
“coupled
with fear” to assert its own power.
II. THE REASONS FOR THIS SUBMISSION.
A. The husband’s
recognized headship in the original institution of
marriage. “The head of the woman is the man” (1 Corinthians 11:3).
Her obedience, therefore, while a religious duty, has its
foundation in
nature.
1) The man was first formed. “Adam was first formed, then Eve”
(1
Timothy 2:13).
(2) The man was not created for the woman, but the woman for
the man
(1 Corinthians
11:9).
(3) The woman was first in transgression. “Adam was not
deceived, but the
woman
being deceived was in the transgression” (1 Timothy 2:14).
(4) The woman is the “glory of the man,” but “the man is
the image and
glory
of God” (1 Corinthians 11:7).
B. Her dependent position. As the “weaker vessel,” she needs protection,
while he far excels her in those qualities which entitle to
command. Yet his
superiority in these respects is consistent with his inferiority to
the woman
in gentleness, patience, sympathy, love, delicacy of sentiment.
C. The fitness of things. She is “to be subject to her own husband.” This
expressive phrase points to the closeness, exclusiveness, and specialty of
the relationship. It is thus a great mischief to unsex woman by denying or
disregarding the superiority of
man.
D. The similarity of the relation to that between the Church and Christ.
“As the Church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own
husbands in everything.” As Christ is the Source of authority and direction
to the Church, as he exercises both with meekness and gentleness, so is the
husband to the wife. She is bound, therefore, to give him the obedience the
Church gives to Christ, limited, of course, by the nature of the relation and
the authority of God. She is not to identify her husband’s claims with
Christ, as if her Savior could supersede or weaken the just authority of her
husband over her. A religious
wife loves and honors her husband all the
more from the very intenseness of her love to Christ. Her very obedience,
too, fashioned upon the obedience of the Church to Christ, becomes
tributary to her influence over her husband. Christianity has lifted woman
to a high place, but without unsexing her. The old pagan writer, Libanius,
might well exclaim, “Oh what women these Christians have!”
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The husband’s
duty is to love his wife – v. 25
vs. 25-33 -
The Duties of Husbands.
As the duties of wives are comprehended in the single
duty of subjection,
the duties of husbands are comprehended in the single duty
of love. The
injunction is significantly repeated three times, as if to indicate
that it was
essentially needed to correct or qualify his sense of sovereignty or
superiority over her. Consider three points.
I. THE CHARACTERISTICS OF A HUSBAND’S LOVE.
A. It is peculiar
in its nature, unlike the love of
parent or child, friend or
neighbor.
“He is to love his wife even as himself.”
B. It is single, exclusive,
and undivided in its object; for the husband is to
devote to his one wife
all the affection of his life. “Rejoice
with the wife of
thy
youth” (Proverbs 5:18, 19). This fact is the condemnation of bigamy and
polygamy.
C. It is to be considerate and tender, excluding all bitterness. “Husbands,
love your wives, and be not bitter against them” (Colossians 3:19).
Husbands are “to dwell with their wives according to
knowledge”
(1Peter 3:7); that is, with a due consideration to their
condition as “the
weaker vessel,” and with a disposition to hide or bear with their
weaknesses or infirmities. It is to
be a love that will make it unnecessary
for the husband ever to command his wife. The gospel counterpart of
“Wives submit yourselves to your own husbands,” is not
“Husbands,
command our wives.” but “love your wives.”
D. It is to be mutual.
The wife’s love is presupposed, though elsewhere it is
expressly commanded (Titus 2:4). The husband is to love her as she
loves him. The rightful confidence and sympathy of married life
are
impossible without mutual affection. All
marriages of convenience or self
interest are thus condemned. Love
must be the basis of marriage.
E. It is to be constant and lasting, notwithstanding all the weaknesses or
failings of the wife.
II. THE METHODS IN WHICH THIS LOVE IS TO FIND
EXPRESSION.
A. In providing for the
temporal support of a wife. The
husband is to
“nourish and cherish” his wife. He
that provideth not for his own is worse
than an unbeliever (1 Timothy 5:3).
B. He must consult her happiness and pleasure; for “he that is
married is to
care that he may please his wife” (1 Corinthians 7:33).
C. He must protect her life,
her honor, her good name; for she is “the
weaker vessel.” He must “give honor
to the wife” (1 Peter 3:7).
D. He is to seek her spiritual welfare. He is to pray for her and with her,
remembering that she is an heir with him of the grace of life, “that
your
prayers be not hindered.”
III. THE
REASONS FOR THIS COMMAND.
A. The original law of marriage. “For this cause shall a man leave his
father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and the twain
shall become
one
flesh.” The union implies such an identification of interest, property,
and
relationship to the world as to make them almost one person.
B. The wife is the husband’s
other self. She is not only one flesh with
himself, but she is his very body.
“No man ever yet hated his own flesh,”
except the fanatics of ascetic devotion.
C. The help, comfort, and blessing she brings to him. She is given to him
as
“an helpmeet;” she is his companion. “Yet she is thy companion and the
wife of thy covenant” (Malachi 2:14). The heart of the husband “safely
trusts in her” (Proverbs 12:4).
D. She is the weaker vessel. A spirit of chivalry ought to surround her with
the
shield of protecting love.
E. She is “the glory
of the man” (1 Corinthians 11:7) — his
honor and
ornament and delight.
F. His union with her is typical of the blessed union that
exists between
Christ and the
Church.
All the love and self-sacrifice and service which
Christ expended upon the Church supply the type of a
husband’s duty to
his
wife.
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There are mutual duties. Nothing can be complete unless each party performs
his share.
While it is the woman’s part to be in subjection, it is the husband’s
part to love. The one balances the other. It is
the duty of the wife to be subject
even though the husband does not love, and the
duty of the husband to
love even though the wife is not subject; but
how hard, difficult, almost
impossible, such duties thus become! If the husband withhold love, he is
wronging his wife, and altogether subverting the
relation between them.
Let’ it ever be observed that, while God
has joined husband and wife
together, he has joined the husband’s love to the
wife’s subjection; what,
therefore, God hath
joined together, let not man put asunder.
“The Lord God of
v. 25 – “Husbands, love
your wives, even as Christ also loved the
Church, and gave himself for her” - The husband’s duty to the wife is
enforced by another parallel — it ought to correspond to Christ’s
love for
the
Church. This parallel restores the balance;
if it should seem hard for the
wife to be in subjection, the spirit of love, Christ-like
love, on the part of
the husband makes the duty easy. Christ
did not merely pity the Church, or
merely desire her good, but loved her; her image was stamped on
His heart
and
her name graven on His hands; He desired to have Her for His
companion, longing for a return of her affection, for the
establishment of
sympathy between her and Him. And He
gave Himself for her (comp. v. 2),
showing that her happiness and welfare were dearer to Him than
His
own — the true test of deep, real love.
v. 26. – “That he might sanctify her, having
cleansed her by the
washing of water with the Word” -
The immediate object of Christ was
to
cleanse her, and for this end He used the Word as a purifying
agent,
washing her by means of it. The difference between selfish and
unselfish
love is seen here: a selfish lover cares for his wife in his own interest —
like Samson, desires to have her simply
because she pleases him, (Judges 14:3)
and,
in his converse with her, thinks, not of her good, but of his own enjoyment;
but the love of an
unselfish lover constrains him to seek her good, to do
nothing that will hurt her and damage her in any manner of way,
but to do
everything that he believes will advance her well-being, especially
in the
highest sense. He finds her
polluted (Ezekiel 16.), and his great
instrument of cleansing is “the Word” (John 15:3; 17:5)
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v. 27
– “That He might present it to Himself a glorious church”
The
ultimate end, to which ver. 26 is introductory. Christ both
gives and
takes the bride; He presents
her to Himself — the day of His espousals
being in the state of
glory (Revelation 21:2), and all the training of this life
being designed to fit
her for that condition. She becomes glorious at last
through assimilation to
Himself (2 Corinthians 3:18; John 17:22).
“not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing”
The idea is
that of a body perfectly free
from blemish, typical of a soul
perfectly delivered from
sin — of a character perfected
in all grace
and goodness.
“but that it should be
holy and without blemish”
The same truth
expressed in positive form, which
in the preceding clause is
xpressed in the negative. Nothing could more clearly denote perfection of
character — the full
development of the character
with whatever of variety
may arise from
differences in natural gifts and
constitution, or convey a more
glorious idea of the
destiny of redeemed humanity. To
be, as it were, the bride
of Christ is a high
destiny in point of condition;
but it would be miserable if
character did not tally with condition; this agreement, however, is secured, for
the Church is to be holy and without blemish.
v. 28 – “So ought men to love their wives
as their own bodies. He that loveth
his wife, loveth himself”
His wife is part of himself, so that not to
love her as himself is not only a sin
against law, but a sin against nature.
v. 29 – “For no man ever yet hated his own
flesh; but nourisheth and
cherisheth it, even as the Lord
the church”
To hate one’s
wife is as irrational as to hate one’s own flesh, and as, on the
other hand, men
constantly nourish and cherish their flesh, protecting it from
hurt, seeking to heal
it when hurt, and generally to promote its welfare and
comfort, so ought
husbands to act towards their wives. In this aspect of the case,
too, the sharp eye
of the apostle finds an analogy between the relation of the
wife to the husband
and that of the Church to Christ, expanded in the next verse.
v. 30 – “For we
are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones”
The reference is to the original formation
of woman as narrated in
Genesis 2. Her
very name indicated that she was “taken from man.” She
was taken from him and given to him. So the
Church is taken from Christ
and given to Him.
Taken from His body, sprung from His incarnation and
His crucifixion
and resurrection, the spiritual offspring of His humanity, and
then given to Him, to
be His servant, nay, above a servant, His companion,
friend, and confidant
for evermore. If it had not been for the body of Christ
(Hebrews 10:5)
the Church could have had no existence. No
bride fit
for the King of
heaven could have sprung from the earth. As
Eve came
from the opened side
of Adam, so figuratively the Church springs
from the
pierced side of Jesus.
v. 31 – “For this cause shall a man leave his father
and mother,
and shall cleave to his wife, and they two shall come to be
one flesh”.
Quoted
in substance from Genesis 2:24. It seems to be introduced
simply to show the
closeness of the relation between man and wife; it is
such as in a sense to
supersede that between parent and child. The apostle
(as appears from the next verse) has in view, at the same
time, the parallel
truth — the closeness
of the relation between Christ and the Church; it too
in a sense
supersedes the relations of nature (Luke 14:26; Matthew 12:50).
v. 32 – “This is
a great mystery: but I speak concerning
Christ and the
church”
The matter
referred to is the typical relation between the marriage of man
and wife, and the
union of Christ and the Church. It is called a mystery,
and it is not said,
as is said of another mystery, referred to before (Ephesians 3:5),
that it has been
completely explained. Some light has been thrown upon it, but that
is all. It is
implied that there is something of mystery in many of the relations
between things natural
and things spiritual, but that in the depth and grandeur of
the subject, the
mystery connected with the marriage relation is pre-eminent — it
is “a great
mystery”. The analogy of the wind to the Holy Spirit; the
springing up of plants to
the resurrection; the melancholy sounds of
nature
to the prevalence
of sin; and many other analogies, present vague
shadows
of truth, the clear,
full forms of which we cannot see. When the
day breaks
and “the shadows
flee away,” such things will appear in a clearer light.
v. 33 – “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love
his wife
as himself;
and the wife see that she reverence her husband”
The “nevertheless” refers to the unsolved
part of the mystery: whatever may
be mysterious, there is no mystery as to
this, as to the duty of each husband to love
his wife even as himself. The
wife is not is not to look to her husband with the slavish
fear of one terrified and trembling because of
a stronger being, but with the holy
respect due to one to whom, by the will of God, she
stands in a subordinate relation.
The relation of Sarah to Abraham may again be
referred to as indicating the
true ideal of the relation of the wife to the
husband.
One of my favorite scriptures is I Peter
3:7 – “Likewise ye husbands, dwell
with them according to knowledge, giving honor
unto the wife, as unto
the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that
your prayers be not hindered”
In the heathen world the relations between
men and women were degrading.
One found in the pagan family neither
purity nor love. At the moment
when Jesus Christ came, it had reached the last
degree of degradation. In this
passage of Ephesians we have an insight into what Christ
has done for the family.
He has made of marriage the choice symbol of
His own relation to the Church, and
so family life is lifted into a Divine and
spiritual light. Husbands and wives thus owe
to Christ
the purification of their relations and the
sanctification of the home!
In v. 31 it is evident that the parallel
between the son leaving father and
mother that he may cleave unto his wife, and
Jesus leaving the bosom of
the Father to be united to the bride, the Church,
is what is in the apostle’s
mind. He says that he speaks of Christ and the
Church (ver. 32). And in no
more beautiful way can the self-denial of Jesus
in leaving heaven be
presented. Heaven had been from all eternity the
happy home of the only
begotten Son. He had lain in the Father’s bosom and
enjoyed ineffable
bliss. But thoughts of marriage came, and the
Father favored the Son’s
idea. The morning dawned when Jesus must leave
the homestead, and go
forth to win his bride. Angels may well have
wondered at the step and
doubted its wisdom. But the step is taken. The
home is left, and never
again can it be what it once was. It is to be
tenanted in due time with a
bride, the Lamb’s wife, composed of a multitude
that no man can number,
happy souls, each and all in deepest unity with
the Son. We do not
sufficiently appreciate the magnificent design of God
in the marriage of his
only Son, or the condescension of the Son in
forming such an alliance as he
has done. For no condescension in earthly
marriages can more than feebly
illustrate the condescension of the Divine Son in
taking a human bride.
Princes may marry paupers, but the
difference between poverty and
princely wealth is as nothing compared with the
difference between human
nature and what is Divine. But besides, the human
nature was not pure
upon which he set his love; it was sinful,
lost, ruined. Imagine a prince, out
of pure as distinguished from passionate
love, singling out some poor,
abandoned woman, and arranging for her education and
health and
elevation in thought and feeling, until at last he
can fairly marry her and
give her share of his glories and his home; —
this is but a faint image of
what Jesus the Son of God has done in selecting
as a bride the ruined
human race. He determined to win his bride, and
so he took sinless human
nature on him, and arranged for the union of once
sinful, but through grace
sanctified, human nature with himself.
The battle of the
faith is to be won through the family. The family is God’s unit.
The Church is but
a family enlarged; heaven, again, is only a family still more
enlarged. God as a Father overshadows all! If Christianity ensures a holy family;
if she wins families
from worldiness to holiness of life; — then she may
indeed
lift up her head
assured that redemption is drawing nigh. Christian homes on
earth, paradise
restored, — these are really the creations which we look for;
and beyond the
shadows a still statelier home arises in “the Father’s house with
its many mansions” prepared
for the reception of the bride.
Revelation
19:8-9 tells of the Bride of Christ, the Marriage Supper of the Lamb
and the glories
associated with it. DON’T MISS
IT – WHAT SHALL IT PROFIT
A MAN IF HE GAIN THE WHOLE WORLD AND LOSE HIS OWN SOUL?
