God’s Plan for Marriage

                                      Song of Solomon 5-8

                                            May 25, 2014



Marriage has taken a major hit in our society.  One time the Pharisees came to Jesus

to try and trick Him on this subject.  (Matthew 18:3-9) 


Lest we forget, God has said “Thou shalt not commit adultery.”  This is the

Seventh of God’s Ten Commandments.  Now with the agenda of liberal people,

liberal lawyers and liberal court justices, there has been at least 35 years of

the attempt to neuter the Seventh Commandment under the guise of “freedom

of expression.”  What is going on here?   Voters in states have reinforced marriage

as one man and one woman.  Lower judges wipe out the will of whole states.  

Congress in 1996 passes a Defense of Marriage Act to define and protect the

institution of marriage.  Five people, two men and three women, on the Supreme

Court declares it unconstitutional in 2013.  The Supreme Court in 1973 approves

abortion on demand – a case based on a lie.  55,000,000 babies have been murdered.

I could spend the whole time this morning itemizing the decline of the United States

that has been directly associated with the undermining of God’s will not only for

America, but for all mankind.   The only thing I can figure our is that the citizens

of the United States have become like the people of Israel before their oblivion in

612 B. C.  The prophets prophesy falsely, and the priests bear rule by their means,


THE END THEREOF?”  (Jeremiah 5:31)j


Today, the divorce rate continues to be around 50% and half of all women ages 15-44

have cohabitated at least once.   (The National Survey of Family Growth – Feburary, 2010) 

(Nothing said about the statistics of men – the faithful or the dead beats)


Add to this the domestic violence, premarital sex, extramarital affairs and

homosexuality, all these point to a low view of marriage and God’s ideal of

a godly union between one man and one woman.  Could we be far from the

status quo in Noah’s time when “ God saw that the wickedness of man was great in

the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only

evil continually.  This may not mean much to anyone who ignores the Seventh

Commandment to begin with, but what it means is that our culture is getting

dangerously close to the Second Coming of Christ, the end of time and of the world. 

I believe with all my heart that the moral corruption of the modern Sexual Revolution

is harming the world thousands of times quicker than Global Warming could ever do

to bring the world to its knees.  How strange that some people believe in global

warming while thinking that God is a myth!


The Song of Solomon describes the sanctity of marriage through the commitment and

emotions of a man and a woman deeply in love.  The beautiful poetry used by

Solomon expresses longing love, exclusive love, and true love between a man and

a woman committed to each other. 





Last week we looked at Love and Righteous Romance.


Today, we will once again look at love and romance from a world view

and try to compare it with God’s purpose and view!











“I am come into my garden, my sister, my spouse: I have gathered

my myrrh with my spice; I have eaten my honeycomb with my

honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk: eat, O friends; drink,

yea, drink abundantly, O beloved.” — Song of Solomon 5:1.




No sooner does the spouse say, “Let my Beloved come into his garden,”

than her Lord answers, “I am come into my garden.”Before they call, I

will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear.” (Isaiah 65:24).

When we desire our Lord Jesus to come to us, He has already come in a measure;

our desire is the result of His coming. He meets us in all our desires, for He waiteth to

be gracious unto you.  (Isaiah 30:18). Our “come” is no sooner uttered than it is lost in

His “Behold, I come quickly!”


When we perceive that the Bridegroom has come, we perceive also that he

has done exactly what he was asked to do. How cheering to find that our

mind is in harmony with his mind! Our heart saith “Let my Beloved come

into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.” His heart replies, “I have

gathered my myrrh with my spice; I have eaten my honeycomb with my

honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk.” “Delight thyself also in the

Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” The Lord Jesus

makes the desires of his saints to be the fore-shadowings of his own actions:

“The secret of the Lord is with them that fear him.” His secret counsel is

made known in the believing soul by desires inspired of the Holy Ghost.


Note well that the bridegroom kindly takes to himself as his own all that is

in the garden. His spouse spoke of “his pleasant fruits,” and he

acknowledges the least and most homely of them to be his own. He repeats

the possessive particle — “my”: “my myrrh, my spice, my honeycomb, my

honey, my wine, my milk.” He disdains nothing which the garden of his

bride produces. He is fond of the notion of joint-heirship, even as in

another place he said, “My Father, and your Father, my God, and your

God.” Let us also value the personal possessive pronouns: the sweetness of

the promises lies in them. These are our arms with which we embrace the

promises. Beloved brethren in Christ Jesus, is it not charming to see our

Lord appropriating us, and all that we are, and all that we have, and all that

grows within us, and all the varied forms of his grace, which are the

outcome of his own work within our hearts? Within us certain things are

bitter, but wholesome; and he saith, “my myrrh.” Some things are sweet,

though homely; and he saith, “my honey.” Some things are of a rarer sort,

and he saith, “my spice”; while others are common-place enough; and he

saith, “my milk.” Our Lord taketh no exception to any one of the true

growths of the garden, whether it be myrrh or milk; and he asks for nothing

more than the garden may be expected to yield; he is content without the

butter of kine, or flesh of fed beasts, satisfying himself with honey fresh

from the hive.



Last week we mentioned the “little foxes that spoil the vines” of ch. 2:15.

These are representatives of things which cause problems in marriage that

the two should be on the lookout for!


This week I ran across “broken hedges” and “the wild boar out of the wood;”

also “the wild beast of the field!”  o(Psalm 80:12-13)




A.  Longing Love












“I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, if ye find my beloved, that ye tell

him that I am sick of love.” — Song of Solomon 5:8.


SICK! that is a sad thing; it moves your pity. Sick of love — love-sick!

that stirs up other emotions which we shall presently attempt to explain.

No doubt certain sicknesses are peculiar to the saints: the ungodly are

never visited with them. Strange to say, these sicknesses, to which the

refined sensibilities of the children of God render them peculiarly liable, are

signs of vigorous health. Who but the beloved of the Lord ever experience

that sin-sickness in which the soul loathes the very name of transgression,

is unmoved by the enchantments of the tempter, finds no sweetness in its

besetting sins, but turns with detestation and abhorrence from the very

thought of iniquity? Not less is it for these, and these alone, to feel that

self-sickness whereby the heart revolts from all creature-confidence and

strength, having been made sick of self, self-seeking, self-exalting, self-reliance,

and self of every sort. The Lord afflicts us more and more with

such self-sickness till we are dead to self, its puny conceits, its lofty aims,

and its unsanctified desires. Then there is a twofold love-sickness. Of the

one kind is that love-sickness which comes upon the Christian when he is

transported with the full enjoyment of Jesus, even as the bride elated by the

favor, melted by the tenderness of her Lord, says in the fifth verse of the

second chapter of the Song, “Stay me with flagons, comfort me with

apples: for I am sick of love.” The soul overjoyed with the divine

communications of happiness and bliss which came from Christ, the body

scarcely able to bear the excessive delirium of delight which the soul

possessed, she was so glad to be in the embraces of her Lord, that she

needed to be stayed under her overpowering weight of joy. Another kind

of love-sickness widely different from the first, is that in which the soul is

sick, not because it has too much of Christ’s love, but because it has not

enough present consciousness of it; sick, not of the enjoyment, but of the

longing for it; sick, not because of excess of delight, but because of sorrow

for an absent lover. It is to this sickness we call your attention this




  • Physically present but distant.
  • Other factors similar to “every man with the plague of his own heart”

(I Kings 8:38)

  • Crises, ups and downs of life. 
  • Pride
  • Selfishness


“Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may

give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt

you not for your incontinency.”  (I Corinthians 7:5)


This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.  For men shall

be……..incontinent” – II Timothy 3:1,3).



B. Exclusive Love  (ch. 6:1-3)


The woman gave herself to the man in lovemaking.  The image she used to

describe it is a garden where the man found satisfaction and pleasure

 (“feed in the garden…. beds of spices”).  There he enjoyed himself

(gather lilies….feeds among the lilies”).  This picture of lovemaking is a

beautiful picture of what God desires for every husband and wife,

 and is not the picture portrayed in society of a brief physical encounter

 that results in undesirable consequences.


“I am my beloveds and my beloved is mine!”  The woman’s statement

is a testimony of God’s plan for sexual behavior within marriage.  The

husband and wife hold to an exclusive love that is not to be shared with

anyone else.  When a person commits to a person of the opposite sex in

marriage, he or she, forsakes all others.  The beauty, exclusiveness, and

ecstasy of sexual lovemaking is God’s gift to a husband and wife committed

solely to each other.  Unfaithfulness to this ideal, once upon a time in our society,

was known as “mental cruelty!”  As "no-fault" divorce has gained favor, such

terms have faded into legal history.



C.  True Love










“Who is this that cometh up from the wilderness, leaning upon her beloved?”

     Song of Solomon 8:5.


CAREFUL readers will have noticed that in the verses which precede my

text, the spouse had been particularly anxious that her communion with her

Lord might not be disturbed. Her language is intensely earnest, “I charge

you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love,

until he please.” She valued much the fellowship with which her beloved

solaced her; she was jealously alarmed lest she should endanger the

continuance of it; lest any sin on her part or on the part of her companions

should cause the Beloved to withdraw himself in anger. Now it is a very

striking fact that immediately after we read a verse so full of solicitous care

concerning the maintenance of communion, we immediately fall upon

another verse in which the upward progress of that selfsame spouse is the

theme of admiration; she who would not have her beloved disturbed is the

self-same bride who cometh up from the wilderness, leaning herself upon

him; from which it is clear that there is a most intimate connection between

communion with Christ and progress in grace, and therefore the more

careful we are to maintain fellowship with our Lord, the more successful

shall we be in going from strength to strength in all those holy graces

which are landmarks on the road to glory. The well-head and fountain of

growth in grace is well-sustained communion and manifest oneness with

Christ; we may strive after moral virtue if we will, but we shall be like

those foolish children who pluck flowers and thrust them into their little

gardens without roots; but if we strive after increasing faith in Jesus, we

shall be as wise men, who plant choice bulbs and living seeds, from which

shall in due time appear the golden cups or the azure bells of lovely flowers,

emblems of things that are lovely and of good repute. To live near to Christ

is the one thing needful; to keep up that nearness, and never to suffer our

fellowship to be interrupted, should be our one great business here below;

and all other things, this being sought after in the first place, will be added

to us. We shall come up from the wilderness, when we are anxious that our

beloved’s fellowship with us shall not be disturbed.



The woman continued her description of true love by comparing it to death, fire and

wealth.  Just as death is universal and unavoidable, so is love.  Just as death is

unrelenting, so is love!  It cannot be extinguished by any amount of water.  And there

is not enough money or treasure in the world to purchase love; IT CAN ONLY











 “If a man would give all the substance of his house for love,

it would utterly be contemned.” — Song of Solomon 8:7.


THAT is a general truth, applying to all forms of real love; you cannot

purchase love. If it is true love, it will not run on rails of gold. Many a

marriage would have been a very happy one if there had been a tithe as

much love as there was wealth; and, sometimes, love will come in at the

cottage door, and make the home bright and blest, when it refuses to

recline on the downy pillows of the palace. Men may give all the substance

of their house, and form a marriage bond the bond may be there, but not

that which will make it sweet to wear “If a man would give all the

substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.”

Who, for instance, could purchase a mother’s love? She loves her own

child specially because it is her own; she watches over it with sedulous

care, she denies her eyes the necessary sleep at night if her babe be sick,

and she would be ready to part with her own life sooner than it should die.

Bring her another person’s child, and endow her with wealth to induce her

to love it; and you shall find that it is not in her power to transfer her

affection to the son or daughter of a stranger. Her own child is exceedingly

precious to her, and another infant, that to an unprejudiced eye might be

thought to be a far more comely babe, shall receive tenderness from her,

for the woman is compassionate; but it can never receive the love that

belongs to her own offspring.


Take, again, even the love of friends; I only instance that just to show how

true our text is in relation to all forms of love. Damon loved Pythias; the

two friends were so bound together that their names became household

words, and their conduct towards one another grew into a proverb. Yet

Damon never purchased the heart of Pythias neither did Pythias think to

pay a yearly stipend for the love of Damon. The introduction of the

question of cost would have spoilt it all; the very thought of anything

mercenary, anything like payment on the one side or receipt upon the

other, would have been a death-blow to their friendship No; if a man

should give all the substance of his house even for human love, for the

common love that exists between man and man, it would utterly be



Rest assured that this is pre-eminently true when we get into higher

regions, when we come to think of the love of Jesus, and when we think of

that love which springs up in the human breast towards Jesus when the

Spirit of God has renewed the heart, and shed abroad the love of God

within the soul. Neither Christ’s love to us nor our love to him can be

purchased; neither of those could be bartered for gold, or rubies, or

diamonds, or the most precious crystal. If a man should offer to give all the

substance of his house for either of these forms of love, it would utterly be




True love described by the woman in the Song of Solomon is not automatically received

by a man and woman on their wedding day, but RESULTS FROM A LIFELONG



  • Is there anything in your life that you are putting above your love for Christ?
  • Is there anything in your life that you are putting above your love for your




God invented sex.  He has a will for sex.  These things didn’t spin out from creation

by mistake or cosmic accident.  God intentionally designed us as sexual beings.  He

has a distinct purpose for each of us and He has not kept that purpose to Himself, but

has revealed His purpose to us in His Word!  We don’t have to figure it out on our own!


Our society wants “to have its cake and eat it to!”  Many people have concluded that if

they can beat the system, that if they can avoid the consequences that come from sexual

activity, then their actions are really not all that bad.  Birth control will take care of

everything – just follow your urges, just don’t get caught!


That is not what God intended. 


Romans 6:12-13

I Corinthians 10:12-13

I Peter 5:6-11

I Thessalonians 4:1-8

Proverbs 6:20-35


In your life:


  • Do honor God.
  • Do walk in purity.
  • Discover the best God has for you and seek His plan.