Be Wise About Relationships

                             (Numerous Proverbs)

                                    Feb. 1, 2004



Christians are saved!

Lost people are unsaved!

Both are sinners - difference - Christians are saved by grace!


Both have trouble with the tongue - choosing words

carefully, developing patience, and considering the

consequences of their actions.


Next week - dealing with alcohol - McGee’s commentary

said that the Bible has more to say about the abuse with

the tongue than abuse of alcohol.


Of course, this is of little comfort for those in slavery to

strong drink.


Ps. 7:8a, 9-11


“The longsuffering, not willing that any

should perish but that all should come to repentance”

                                    II Peter 3:9


Luke 13:6-9                idle-inactivity


John 15:4-6


Christians are to be the light of the world, a city

set on a hill -  Matt. 5:14


Col. 4:6           James 3:2-10              Matt. 12:30-37


Job 1:1                        Psalm - 34:12-22


Now for some instruction from various Proverbs.


ch. 12:18 - Tongue as a sword - speech of a fool

                   compared to the thrust of a sword.


                  Tongue used to soothe & heal.


v. 19 - Truth established forever - consistent,

            invincible and enduring.


Exodus 34:6 - God is "abundant in........truth"


“the truth of the Lord endureth forever” - Ps. 117:2b


“heaven and earth shall pass away but my word shall

  never pass away” - Matt. 24:35


Lying is but for a moment - so THE LIE - in vogue today.


Beware of the Biblical revelation - II Thess. 2:10-12


v. 16a - temper is unfitting for business & social

            relationships - shows the absence of self control -


How many opportunities lost, friendships broken and

wounds been inflicted through temper?!


ch. 14:17a - In haste & passion, things are said & done which

      in calmer moments are seen as being foolish & ridiculous.


Be not angry and you will not sin - Talmud


v. 29 - the original is very terse - “long in nostrils - great in

            understanding -


Gen. 2:7 - the organ into which was breathed the breath of life

            is taken as the seat of the inward spirit - shows by

            exterior signs the dominant feeling.


Anger withdraws the light of understanding.


A man’s wisdom is shown by being slow to take offense &

showing patience under injury.


Advice of Jesus - Luke 21:19 - “In patience possess ye your

            souls” - out of patience - out of understanding.


ch. 15:1 - “Anger however great, is checked by answer sweet”

                                                            Medieval proverb


v. 18 - a long suffering man quenches suits.


ch. 29:22 - Christian love will inspire the kinder method, for

            love is more desirous of peace & good feeling than of

            securing all that might be justly demanded.


To stand on one’s rights & resent the slightest intrusion upon

them is to act from self-interest - a higher feeling & a larger

view when one considers his brother’s feelings and the sorrow

of the quarrel compared with the blessings of peace.



Much tragedy, cruelty and misery in the world could have

been avoided at the onset - “Blessed are the peacemakers

for they shall be called the children of God” - Matt. 5:9


Jesus said in Luke 17:1 - we must expect a large measure

of misunderstanding through words, deeds, mistakes

leading to vexation - all are a part of sin in the world


How to react?  Anger provokes anger, vexation grows

into bitterness, bitterness to miserable strife, thus

the importance of cooler heads!


Many a feud may be traced back to the utterance of

a few hasty words, which might have been met &

quieted by a pacific answer, if they had fallen on

patient & wise ears.


ch. 16:32 - True victory over self-


When one man starts a quarrel, a great many suffer

on both sides and when one man quenches a quarrel,

he saves many from misery and, no doubt, sin.


“behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth” -

                                    James 3:5b


More of a hero than the commander of a great army -

One overcomes external foes, the other conquers himself!


The heathen type of heroism was with strength of arm -

bodily strength, manly courage against the outward foe.

The spiritual and Christian type is in strength of will

against evil, it is self-mastery & self-conquest.


More of this would make military endeavors obsolete!


v. 28 - ch. 26:20         





We are never at our best when we are angry - our

judgment is disturbed - our mental faculties are

disordered and brings personal regrets - reproach of

neighbors - loss of reputation.


ch. 17:9 - One who bears patiently or conceals

            something done or said against him - that man

            follows charity & obeys the great law of love.


He who is always dwelling on a grievance - bringing it up

at every occasion - makes it a chronic condition.


Leviticus 19:18


ch. 16:28 - If it is whispered it will be believed!


Love covers a multitude of sins - ch. 12:10


ch. 17:14 - a small rift in the bank of a reservoir, if not

            immediately plugged, is soon enlarged & gets out of

            control, causing widespread ruin & destruction.


Small causes that could have been easily checked, develop

into feuds & quarrels that extend in a wide circle, & cannot

easily be suppressed.


v. 17 - The true friend can be bound in Christ!  Like Abraham,

            the friend of God, the man to whom God gives a lifelong

            faithful friendship, is riches that wealth cannot buy!


v. 19 - “For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness

            of God” - James 1:20.


Fault finding, showy pretension - lead to quarrels.

Contentiousness & pride are usually closely connected.


Open the way to one sin and others will immediately troop

forward in the rear.


A hot feeling, a provoking word, energetic resentment,

antagonistic action - become a feud - a war.


They cause men to spend energy & ingenuity on

controversy that would have been better spent in

service and doing good.


Repress the rising thought, maintain magnanimous



Jesus was “as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so

            He opened not His mouth”


“consider Him who bore such contradiction of sinners

against Himself” - Heb. 12:3


ch. 20:3 - It may be a generous & noble thing to suffer

            wrong without resisting it - Often times we take

            a position & hold it out of sheer pride - this is

            especially true in the soul’s relationship with God.

            Here we are called upon to humble ourselves and

            confess that we are wrong!


Philippians 2:5 - “Let this mind be in you which was

            also in Christ Jesus”


ch. 19:11 - It is a real triumph & glory for a man to

            forgive & to take no notice of injuries offered him.


Thus in a poor way he imitates Almighty God - Micah 7:18


The patient man’s endurance of the contradictions of

sinners is no disgrace to him, but redounds to his credit

and virtue.


Deferred anger will burn itself out!


Justice is not to behave like a ravenous beast raging

for its prey.  When the anger has been wisely deferred,

and yet has been ultimately justified, its outburst is the

more terrible; it is the flowing out of wrath “treasured

up against the day of wrath” - Romans 2:5 -READ


ch. 25:15         Isaiah 42:3                  Matt. 12:20


II Cor. 10:1 - “the meekness & gentleness of Christ”


I Cor. 10:11-13